>>

I'm not your typical bimbo.
Besides the pink and the sparkly things and the hair flips, there's a lot more to me than meets the eye. You'll find out when you're my friend!(: I have big dreams, because whoever told me i couldn't do anything?

1. I'm not ridiculously pretty/skinny/talented, therefore the rich popular good-looking boys will like me(going by the logic in drama serials)

2.I am such a huge klutz naturally-they can film many funny scenes!

3. I'm supaaaaa drama one

4. I don't need to pretend to be infatuated with the male lead as i already would be in real life

5. Kiss scenes with hot boy??? No problemo

6. I can scream well(HAHA)

7. I'm not camera shy

8. I sometimes can't differentiate between reality and fantasy

9. I'd be a great bimbo(all drama serials have at least one)

10. I'm sick and tired of living in the real world; i want a fairytale ending so badly.

Lol forgive me i am stressed and am seeing life in a rather strange way of late back to top?

The line between fantasy and reality is so thin, I feel like i'm always living on the edge-wanting a fairytale that will never come true.

Perhaps i'm tired of living in the real world and facing reality-life has become so boring, so monotonous, so meaningless. Why do I not have strength to go on? back to top?

I'm still trying to figure out who you are. Are you willing to let me in? back to top?

  Everyone keeps saying that it's hard. Teachers saying the paper is hard, even Mr Loh saying that "at best you'll get a B even if you study really really hard", it's like they just want us to fail. 
   Expecting to do badly, i know i will. I know what's ahead of me and i know exactly what to expect-but i am not prepared to accept it. 


  I feel like i'm fighting a losing battle here. Either way i am going to lose, so why on Earth am i even trying?! working my ass off and stressing myself but what is the bloody point when in the end the outcome is the same. 
   And no one gets it. Just no one. And it's not anybody's fault. I need to figure out why results matter so much to me and why i come down so hard on myself. Actually deep down, i know why. I know exactly why. It all comes down to the insecurity that I have no "non-academic talent", and the fact that it bothers me. Need to stop this I know, because all the lovely people around tell me that i'm special, but i can't see it i just can't. Not sure what i want in life now, because afterall success is a very broad term. In the end what if i'm content with marrying well and having kids and being a stay home mum? What would all this count for anyway? 
    And i ask myself, what if the world were to end this year. So many things that i would regret, because i have yet to enjoy life-i want to take a risk, i want to do something stupid and risky, i want to feel that adrenaline rush and quit staying within the boundaries. For once, i'd like to see what's it's like not to be so "guai" all the time? Idk. 
     Want to just give up on this and live a life for once. Screw going on stage or making it to a top JC, because that's not what i want anymore.


  i want to be happy. Tell me, how far am i from that goal? back to top?

Dear Friends,


I may be a pushover but i swear I won't let it go if you bitch about her for no apparent reason.

love,
bev back to top?

I want to start this term right. I promise to work hard and not procrastinate, I promise to never give up, I promise that I will not let disappointment stop me from daring to dream. I promise that I will love with all my heart, I promise that I will not crumble as I have.

I promise to leave it all in the Father's hands. back to top?

Two years ago seemed like such a long time. Looking back, you were one of the stupidest mistakes I've ever made. Thought you'd deleted your blog, but when i look back at it now i feel absolutely disgusted with myself, how blind could i have been to actually have found all of that sweet?! More than anything i feel ashamed that i played with someone's feelings like that. Learnt an expensive lesson and if you ever see this i am so so so sorry for doing that to you. Then again you should've known too, i was terribly young......

I have never loved you; but i don't think i can ever just be friends with you again. back to top?